Thursday, August 30, 2012

Not Just Another Flash in the Pan: My First Attempt at Flash Fiction

So, I just entered my first online flash fiction contest. For those unfamiliar with the term, let me spoil your hopes and dreams now. There is no Flash Gordon, Flash Lightning, or Flashdancing of any sort.

It simply is a short story that is no longer than 1000 words. It should have a beginning, middle, and end, along with a clear conflict, resolution, and characterization. Bonus points for voice and character development. Setting's cool too.

The idea is that in flash fiction, the story itself is somewhat ambiguous. And there should be a twist or something unexpected.

All that in less than 1000 words. I said it couldn't be done. By me anyway. So, I channeled my inner John Locke *of LOST fame although the philosopher is pretty cool too* and said to myself, 'Self, don't tell me what I can't do! Just for that, I'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna enter a contest. And I'm gonna win, dammit!' Myself can be pretty convincing when it wants to be, so I did it.

Yep, that's right. I got it all in 737 words. (this particular contest was 750 and under)
Not that I am bragging mind you, but I did come up with the idea at 7 pm the other night, and had it written and done by bedtime. How did I do it? The first line came to me and the character narrated from there. She's a pretty feisty girl. A real tiger. It may not be perfect, but you know what? I dig it.

Will I win? That remains to be seen. But, I'm proud of it and think it's a hoot.

And if you can name her (she is nameless at present), I'll give you a cookie.

So, here it is.


It wasn't a cold I caught the night I kissed Jimmy Marino.

He picked me up at my Nana's place. In a polished white El Camino, complete with fuzzy dice. Classy right?

So, you know, we went to the park--to catch up on old times, talk politics and stuff. That's what all kids do when they go to the park. Yeah, sure.

We was gettin' all hot and heavy, right. He was kissin' my neck and movin' his hands in not so innocent positions. I was kinda embarrassed. After all, we weren't alone. There was like, a ton of people there with us. So it wasn't exactly a private affair. But there he was, smellin' all kinds of Drakkar Noir and I was havin' a hard time keeping it PG.

I says to him, 'Jimmy, we can't go too far, because, you know, we're in public' and he just moaned and nibbled my ear sayin', 'Baby, trust me. I'll only go as far as you'll let me'. And I did. Trust him, that is.

That's why what happened next got under my skin so bad.

Takin' a breather from his happy hands, I told Jimmy I had to go to the ladies' room. Really, I just needed some time to cool down and keep things in perspective. Last thing I needed was my life to get complicated. I mean between school, workin' at Gina's Parducci's salon, and babysittin' my little sister, I had no time left for the likes of Jimmy Marino. But damn, he was hot. So maybe I'd make it work.

Anyway, I slipped out of the bucket seat, and made my way to the restroom, which was foul by the way. I took care of business, and then checked myself out in the mirror. My lipstick was smudged and I could see a red patch where Jimmy's chin stubble rubbed me raw. Fluffin' my hair and adjustin' my skinny jeans, I made sure I looked decent.

In walked the bustiest, fake tanned, blond girl I'd ever seen. She was a walkin' cliché, you know what I mean? Anyway, she gives me the once over and smacks her gum like some kinda cow munchin' on grass. She says, 'You're the girl with Jimmy tonight?' and I says, 'Yeah, why? You got somethin' to say about it?'

She gets real close, like in my personal space, you know? And she says in her minty fresh breathy voice, 'You better use protection. Jimmy's been around more than a dirty doorknob, if you get me'.  I says, 'Thanks for the warnin', but I can handle myself'. She smiles and says, 'I'm sure that's what last night's girl thought too' and she turns away and heads into the stall.

So I'm sittin' there thinkin', What the hell? Jimmy hooked up with some chick last night and now he's tryin' to get lucky with me? What a douche bag.

Makin' my way through the park back to Jimmy, all these things are goin' through my mind. Am I gonna say somethin'? Should I ask him to take me home? And I get to him, and he's all big-brown-puppy-dog eyes at me and smiles. 'Baby, I missed your lips on mine, bring those back over here and remind me what they taste like' and for some reason, which I still can't figure out, I sit down beside him and lean in for a kiss. Which leads to his hands makin' their way up my shirt and into my bra. I know I shouldn't be doin' it, but I've crushed on the guy since middle school. And what he can do with his tongue? F'get about it.

Things are gettin' crazy outta hand, and I hear people around me, chantin', 'Go! Get to third base! Get it! Get it!' and my heart is racin' somethin' fierce.

That's when it happens. Seein' movement from the corner of my eye, I tear myself away from Jimmy's wet lips. I jump up outta my seat, lungin' for the object comin' at me. It hits my hands hard and fast, and stings like a bitch.

Lookin' down, I could hardly believe it. Alex Rodriguez's home run ball. At Yankee Stadium. I caught it. No freakin' way.

It was awesome.

I was so excited to get Alex's autograph, I couldn't think about anything else that night. Not even Jimmy Marino.

Why? What'd you think I caught?


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks oodles. It was fun to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

  2. Agreed! Very funny! And very well written as well! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Cute story...surprise ending which made me laugh...nice job!

    Donna L Martin

  4. Hahaha, totally unexpected. Well done!


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