August…you sucketh. From Sookie in fairyland to my manuscript in queryland.

Monday Mash Up.

Let's see. Three things are on my mind. Okay, way more than three, but three is the magic number. At least that's what Blind Melon says. The things on my mind will be blogged about in no particular order.

First, True Blood. Last night's season finale was pretty decent. Brought back some things I have been sorely missing. Lots of sex and nakedness. Because it isn’t True Blood if this is missing. And this show hasn’t been True Blood for some time. YKWIM? Also, we had the return of Tara's love for other females. Good to see at least the writing is consistent. I mean, come on…it was pretty obvious that Tara had a thing for Pam. Pam is pretty hot. (She is actually one of my faves next to Lafayette and Arlene.) We also had the return of the true death…true dat. Was awesome. Haven't seen that much gelatinous goop since middle school. The sound effects alone last night were priceless.

But the best thing about last night's episode was undoubtedly the return of (pitter patter sigh) Erik to Bon Temps. When he looked at Sookie…my word. I just love him. Like…really love him. He is vampire perfection. Screw Edward. Erik would wrap him up and eat him like a sandwich. I would pay to see that. And Sookie could kick Bella's ass and stake her in a nanosecond. I would pay more to see that.

Erik came to get Sookie to help save Bill. (Does anyone else have a hard time not saying it like Beee-yilll?) But Bill has just turned into the most evil asshole ever. Talk about character turnaround. Are you kidding me? I mean, I get character arcs and all, but he may have just jumped the shark. Or the coffin, so to speak. When he bared those creepy lion fangs at Sookie…I was screaming along with Erik. RUN! But we all know there is no human that can run from a fanger. Nope. No way. Her little fairy powers better come up with something, because Bill is comin' after her and it ain't for her fried chicken. It was a really great episode. Worth watching the fifth season of crap for this one epi alone.

Second, I never was a big fan of Robert Pattinson, but now I love the guy. Kristen Stewart is a trashy tramp who is so emo I want to barf. Hate her.

Even worse…Emily Maynard! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? America loved you…and now you have just beaten down the coolest hipster in town. Seriously? Jef is an amazing catch. I really thought this one would work out. Nope. She just had to sext with another guy. Incredibly disappointing. I have nothing more to say. Except when does the next Bachelor start?

Third, this month has been bad in writing land. Like really bad. Like I had a great feeling going into August, then BAM…all went silent in query land. No bites. No nibbles. Not even a form rejection. I find myself wondering what the heck is happening here? Where are all the agents? Is there some big LOST island they are on, running from smoke monsters and traveling back and forth in time? (hey, that might just be a great story!) Seriously, it has been bad. I can't wait for September. Maybe I will query more this week in prep for it.

I have started my new Young Adult MS Speechless, and I'm really excited about it. But I can't get my first MS out of my mind. Or heart
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Last week I joined a really great bunch of ladies in a beta/critique group in which we all exchanged the first three chapters. So, I dusted off my MS and sent it out. Got great feedback. She said it was a page turner. Then this weekend, while on a last trip of the summer girls' weekend, I let a girlfriend read it (The Princess Paradox), and she was two thirds of the way through it in a day. She was obsessed with reading it. So, I went back and re-read some of it. And you know what. It's good. No...it's funny and charming and romantic. I have heard from several readers that commented how it "read like a movie".

I know some writers look back at their first work and say, "this is awful, I can't believe I wrote this crap". But I can't say that. Honestly.

And I'm not being stupid or naïve. It's good. Every time I read it, I can't believe I wrote it. Every beta reader comes back and says they love it. These people don’t know me. They aren’t my friends. Yet still, they say they can see it published. So, why…oh why…can't an agent see the same? I don’t get it.

This story simply must be told. I'm playing around with options.

Indie publish.

Self publish.

Put it up for free here to build readership. Perhaps put first three chapters to see if others would ask for more.

I am not defeated. Not yet. I will keep trying. I have to. The more I get knocked down, the more I want to fight back. Cue Rocky music.