Saturday, September 29, 2012

THE PRINCESS PARADOX : The Original Chapter One

My original chapter 1. This was before edits and revisions. (except I did add the essay like heading to help readers understand what this first chunk is) I am posting to get feedback about the flow and first impressions. Especially the first 150 to 250 words.
Should I keep it?
Do you want to see the new Chapter One?
Please comment. Yes YOU!


Sad but true, some people out there are very dishonest and steal others' work. To see more about it, support fellow writers, and get smarter about what to post and what not to post, read the blog of her account: Where Ladybugs Roar


  1. I remember this from the GUTGAA, but I'll have to go back and read your entry again to compare them. (Sorry, there were hundreds of queries and first 150, as you already know)
    Anything with the word Princess grabs my attention!
    This version, by the way, is positively great. I really loved it!

  2. Personally, I really enjoyed your original chapter...although I can see the difficulty with getting across what your actual story is when you can only post 150/250 words. I know you are putting the "blurbs" above each chapter, the only thing I'm not sure of...what are they for? Are they something she is writing for school? Also, I was kind of surprised how much she was gushing over Aidan based on how adamantly she was against the whole fairy tales and prince thing. I almost got from the blurb that she's anti-romance completely. Yet, she couldn't even talk straight (at all) around him. But I guess that is the whole point you are going for...that she doesn't even see it in herself? (ps...I don't know if it was just issues with flipping it over or what, but something seemed off near the end, repeating lines, then slightly changed and repeat again.)

    Bottom line....I like it..and think you should keep it.

  3. BTW...I don't mean "what are they for" as in why are you doing it....I just mean...what is SHE doing them for (ie work, school, journal...etc...but I think it is school from what is on top...but she just seemed older than school age to me...but is she an adult student?) Guess I'd know if I read more! LOL =)

  4. See...this is the issue. It almost needs something else to explain the point of the essays. The essays come from when she is a senior in school. The narrative is when she is twenty-five. And yes, the whole point is fairy tales are such a part of her, she fails to see she is living one. The essays serve kind of as a foil to her character. What she critiques, she will the do.

  5. I prefer this beginning. I do agree that it could be confusing when they only ask for the first 150.

    To be honest, the essays read like HS writing, while her current life reads the maturity of a twenty something. I enjoy the contrast.

  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  15. At this time it seems like Wordpress is the top blogging platform out there
    right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you're using on your blog?

    My website;

  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  17. Having read this I believed it was really informative.
    I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this article together.
    I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both reading
    and leaving comments. But so what, it was still
    worth it!

    Feel free to surf to my site Danaelntbnqjjsw.Tblog.Com

  18. Just want to say your article is as amazing. The clarity
    in your post is just excellent and i can assume you're an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

    Also visit my website :: unknown

  19. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  20. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your
    post's to be what precisely I'm looking for.
    Would you offer guest writers to write content for
    yourself? I wouldn't mind writing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome site!

    Look into my page: Http://Kylem53.Lovelyish.Com/772718023/Home-Remedies-With-Regard-To-Dry-Scalp-Can/

  21. It's actually a cool and helpful piece of info. I am satisfied that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

    my web-site Unknown

  22. What's up everyone, it's my first pay a visit at this
    site, and article is actually fruitful designed for me,
    keep up posting these types of content.

    Have a look at my web page:

  23. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I've joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!

    my web site Generateur de Code PSN

  24. Hi, I do think this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it ;) I may return
    yet again since i have book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be
    rich and continue to help other people.

    Also visit my web blog: dry Scalp treatments

  25. I don't know whether it's just me or if everyone else
    encountering problems with your blog. It appears like some
    of the text in your posts are running off the screen.
    Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know
    if this is happening to them as well? This may be a problem with my
    web browser because I've had this happen previously. Thanks

    Here is my weblog; Microsoft Office Gratuit

  26. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I've joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

    Also visit my homepage ... recycling facts

  27. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written
    article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info.

    Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.

    My blog - refinishing hardwood floors

  28. Hello! I could have sworn I've been to this web site before but after looking at some of the articles I realized it's new to me.
    Regardless, I'm definitely pleased I came across it and I'll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!

    Check out my page ... coconut oil for hair

  29. I am regular reader, how are you everybody? This article posted at this web page is genuinely fastidious.

    Also visit my weblog; diarrhea remedies

  30. each time i used to read smaller articles or reviews which as well clear their motive, and that is also happening with this paragraph
    which I am reading at this time.

    My website World Of Tanks Hack

  31. Great weblog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What host are you the usage of?
    Can I am getting your affiliate link to your host?
    I want my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Here is my web-site - Eco Sanctuary

  32. I just could not go away your website before suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard information a person
    provide on your visitors? Is gonna be again steadily in order to check up on new posts

    My web blog :: candy crush saga cheats

  33. It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd definitely donate to this brilliant blog! I guess for now i'll
    settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed
    to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

    Visit my page ... Dragon City Cheat Engine

  34. Pretty component of content. I simply stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to claim that I acquire in fact
    enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I'll be subscribing to your feeds or even I success you get right of entry to constantly fast.

    Feel free to visit my site: your anchor text

  35. At this moment I am going to do my breakfast, after having my
    breakfast coming again to read other news.

    Also visit my web site :: Http://

  36. Heya this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.

    I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    my website :: World Of Tanks Hack

  37. Just deѕіге to saу youг aгticle іѕ as surpгіѕіng.

    The clearnеss in уοur pοst iѕ simplу eхcellent
    and і can аssume you're an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the enjoyable work.

    my website; lloyd irvin

  38. I've learn some good stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot attempt you place to create this sort of excellent informative web site.

    My weblog: what is reputation management

  39. It's fantastic that you are getting ideas from this article as well as from our argument made at this place.

    my blog post; 7zipdownload

  40. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and
    found that it is truly informative. I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

    Look into my homepage Code Psn Gratuit

  41. If you desire to obtain a great deal from this paragraph then you have to apply such techniques to your won website.

    my web page ... Minecraft Gift Code Generator ()

  42. With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation?

    My blog has a lot of exclusive content I've either created myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my agreement. Do you know any techniques to help reduce content from being stolen? I'd definitely appreciate it.

    Visit my web site :: Codes Psn Gratuit

  43. Link exchange is nothing else but it is just
    placing the other person's webpage link on your page at proper place and other person will also do similar in favor of you.

    my blog post: minecraft crack


Say what?